Have you met the "meanager"?

As I have mentioned before, I am the mother of a teen age girl. For that I should be given an award for the tolerance, patience, control/restraint, and overall maintenance of what little sanity I still possess.

There are many days that I question my parenting skills and even the basic communication skills I once prided myself for. After all, I used to run a global business comprised of people of all ethnicities, ages, social economic backgrounds, and education levels and was proficient in communicating the needs of the organization as well as our client's expectations to keep that well oiled machine in profitable forward motion. Why then is it so difficult to communicate with a 15 year old girl? She was taught English and understands sign language when necessary. So why does she look at me as if I am speaking an ancient Mayan language or some form of Sanskrit. On the rare occasion that her translators are in sync with mine, she pulls out the claws and the fangs appear and the venom begins to spew. Its as if a reenactment of the spinning head from the Exorcist takes place right before my very eyes.

In the past, I tried to do battle with the monster but at the peak of the screaming tantrum that we engaged in to see who could become the victor in a win-less battle, I could hear the insanity that prevailed. I decided to take a new approach and simply not accept the invitation to battle. I walk away now or simply state my disinterest in the discussion at that moment. What a liberating experience. Truth be told, I simply decided to be the adult I am and stop stooping to the teenager we had both become.

Once I rose above the crazy state of being, I discovered there were others who had been to this battlefield on the other side of Alice's looking glass. Other mothers that had been seduced by the need to control the uncontrollable in an uncontrollable moment. They shared their stories with me and then out of the insanity rose a phrase we all understood..."MEANAGER". It was all clear now. Boys are TEENAGERS and girls are MEANAGERS. It is an unfortunate journey they feel the need to take in seeking their independence and adulthood. The single greatest threat to their survival in this journey is their mothers. From their perspective, we stand in the way of their grabbing the golden ring. Our rules, curfews, judgement of their friends, and overall protective measures instigate and solicit the rearing of the monsters head.

If we can make it through this barren wasteland known as female adolescence, avoiding all the hormonal land mines, we will one day have sweet revenge when they first of all admit (at the age of 30 of course) that we were right and only did what we did because we loved them and they are better off as a result, but more importantly, when they have daughters of their own and are later subjected to the meanager of their very own. Karma, Karma!

In sanity,

Angel